Dating myths are painful because they can make your life very difficult and restrict your ability to find happiness. This is why you must be careful not to follow dating myths because they will only lead to heartache, loneliness, and depression.
There are a lot of dating myths out there, and not all of them have to do with managing your highs and lows. Some myths have been around for centuries and remain in our society today. And this is so unfortunate because these myths can prevent you from connecting with men who may be able to compliment you in ways you’ve never experienced before.
Also, these myths create a disconnect between men and women, making us both feel bad about ourselves and act as the antithesis of matchmaker.
Do you know that saying “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”? Well, here’s my version of it reflecting on dating and relationships.
Women have been given a lot of bad dating advice for almost their entire lives (and thankfully enough about how to know if the guy you’re dating is your soulmate). Because of this, coupled with some seriously superficial advice from popular culture and TV shows, many women feel less empowered in their relationships because they believe in the myths instead of learning from them.
1. Women are too emotional to be in a relationship
This is one of the most common dating myths that men tell themselves, and unfortunately, it’s gotten around so much that women, too, have started to believe in it.
But it’s just not true. Being able to express your feelings is one of the most vital things you can do for yourself in a relationship. When you share your emotions with someone else, you’re allowing them to help you through your problems and get through them together.
If a woman can express her feelings, she’ll be able to help her partner when he needs it most.
She’ll also have more emotional intelligence than a man who never opens up about his feelings because he thinks it makes him weak or feminine.
2. Women Must Submit
When a woman doesn’t know how to set boundaries in a relationship, it takes away her power. This can happen anytime, but sometimes it’s an issue of not knowing the boundaries.
For example, a woman may say: “I love you” to her boyfriend but then clearly state that she does not want to be intimate with him. The problem is that the woman does not know what she wants and isn’t clear enough about it. She may think this is the only way to express her feelings for her boyfriend, but he will feel confused and hurt by this statement.
3. Women Mustn’t Initiate
You may have heard the old wives’ tale that it’s better to be passive than aggressive in a relationship.
Women are advised not to initiate, which is seen as aggressive and masculine. This takes away a woman’s power in a relationship.
You can see this play out in movies, TV shows, and even ads for dating apps. There are countless examples of women being told that it’s better to wait for them to make the first move or ask questions. That way, they can show interest and respond positively when they get asked out on a date.
The problem with this mindset is that it makes women feel like they have to act like a man to get what they want from their partners. It also downplays that men wish for strong women who know what they want too!
4. Women Must Over give
Women are advised to over give and stay happy with whatever they get. This dangerously sets a toxic pattern where the woman starts being seen as the lesser. A relationship is not about giving; it’s about receiving and giving back.
What happens when you over give? The guy feels like he needs to give even more, thus making you feel obligated to him all the time. You become dependent on him for everything. You start taking care of him more than yourself because you don’t want him feeling sorry for himself or thinking he doesn’t deserve anything better than what you’re offering.
5. Women Owe A Man Intimacy
If a man does something nice for a woman, she owes him sex or intimacy. This dating myth takes away a woman’s power in a relationship.
“If you do something nice for me, I’ll owe you one later,” they say. But what if you don’t want to do something nice for him? What if you’d rather not owe someone anything?
Owing someone’s sex or intimacy is the ultimate form of control — which many women use to keep themselves from getting hurt. The problem is that this kind of “power” can adversely affect our relationships.
Now, all women should not get offended by this because it is only to point out the myth behind the particular myth and what these things mean. I am in no way trying to say that if you do any or all of these five, it will ruin your chance of a happy relationship and marriage.
The same goes for men who read this and then say, “Oh well, she is doing one of them; I’m out.” No, no, no, no. This is just a list to see where you might be putting yourself in the position of losing your power. If something was pointed out that makes you question yourself and want to change, don’t change it immediately. Just keep a little note on it and see where it takes you – maybe you’ll realize that he isn’t being truthful about himself, or perhaps you’ll realize that he isn’t worth your time or your power.